Dangerous Ego...Dangerous vanity

Ok... I've had the last of people testing my intelligence by finagling their words as if I can't hear and read between lines.
I've had enough of people throwing the word love around...with expectations
I've had QUITE enough of unnecessary vanity and egos.
I've had enough of selfishness.
I've had enough of having my name tossed around when I not present.

I keep finding out just HOW many of those who were CLOSE to me REALLY feel now that I'm far away.

Let me say this one again tho
I am SICK of people with out of control EGOs that turn to power trips...i'm not susceptible. Why would I need to stroke an ego that's already OVERstroked.

I used to think I needed more attention, I used to think it determined my worth. I've even spoken openly about needing to be validated by someone..someone special. But the truth is I VALIDATE ME. I know my intentions for the world are good...and so do most.

The problem is that friends mistake loyalty for constant validation. They would rather be lied to, than hear the dirty truth. I've lost so many friends...being honest. Yeah, I knew the toll, but I would not pay. It doesn't serve ANYONE to be lied to and mislead. True friends..truly love you for you. No gray areas. I get called an asshole, a bitch, hell I even got called a DICK one time. LMAO... it was great! The reality of answers was respected...no offense...no drama..no illness..those were the tight friendships that I held dear cuz we laugh that shit off and in the end, I'm not a liar, I'm a loyal friend who respects true friends enough to BE true. BUT when I'm asked a ? and the truth slices into an ego..i'm no longer loyal for some reason... I become the enemy.

Ones who are that short-sighted are better off in wonderland...so... I just have to leave them there. They always find their way back to the dirty truth. Then they are Forced to deal with their own fucked over pride and egos. The cycle is ridiculous. Why let your pride and ego send you to that Ride in Wonderland be FORCED back around to the same truth you should have accepted when you heard it the first time.

It's just not worth it. Be you. You lose SO much true value when it's hidden behind the created shell that has...No value.