Since I moved and changed my appearance, I noticed an alarming trend among this different demographic of lesbians. The Stud/femme factor is taken waaaay too seriously. I'm a self-described stemme. I don't dress fully stud nor do I dress fully femme. I dress comfortably. My pics aren't deceiving. I haven't gotten any negative feedback about my personality.
The problem seems to be that femmes see me in a button down shirt, fitting jeans and the short hair and they expect me to be immediately dominant. They want to go out with me but I don't find out until I call them, instead of them calling me. They want me to carry conversations as if I'm in full pursuit when I'm just trying to get to know them first.
And studs see a button down shirt and short hair and pay me NO attention...as if I'm not even a lesbian. As a result, I have to wonder what is the meaning of this.
I can easily be called a stud, mentally and a femme at heart. That doesn't make sense to most. But it doesn't matter. I'm a lesbian! A woman who loves women, I can be dominant, I can be submissive, I can wear a dress, I can wear a polo. So why do I only appeal to femmes with high expectations and studs see me as 'one of the bois'.
After dealing with this kind of 'discrimination', it sucks to be a stemme. But why, can't I be a comfortable lesbian and attract women who are going to appreciate me for more than what they think my appearance represents? My mind and heart have a lot more to offer...is anyone going to see past my clothing to find out...
One can only hope.
