When you look in the mirror what do you see?
Or…do you need someone else to tell you?
The more people I encounter, study and try to understand, I start to wonder.. “Where is your character?” My passion for truth and peace leaves me so unfulfilled, sending me in a spinning hurricane of emotions. I question myself. Why do I invest…in someone I’ll never Know. I’ve spent ample time in the presence of those who never took the time to understand what I’m truly about. Leaving them confused by my reaction to some of their actions. I want people to be true, true to me, true to those who love them and most importantly true to themselves. I’m constantly disappointed.
I had to get some understanding of what this all means. I’d rather not spend my life “alone” in this world. Simply “rather not”. I, however, am not afraid to do so. Getting close to someone who has never taken a moment to get close to themselves is a futile task. If you don’t know who you are, how will I…better yet WHY? Avoiding your own truth, avoiding self sets off a red indicator that there is an error. We all carry the burden of error. None of us are perfect. That’s what makes us beautiful. Finding the errors and troubleshooting our way through life IS a part of life’s purpose. Embrace it. Misunderstanding the origins of internal errors can create catastrophe. Catastrophe resulting in loss of friends, family and your own personal self-love. Some friends and family are meant to be lost. Losing self-love and respect is much harder to reverse.
My inspiration for this began when someone chose me as a scapegoat (once again) for a personal problem that they simply refuse to acknowledge. I expressed my disdain for the action years ago. Now, others have started to express the same disdain, having NOTHING to do with me. This of course went from an interrogation, to an argument. Suddenly, I was being yelled at and disrespected for answering what was asked of me. Simply intolerable. I’d heard enough and hung up. Next step, a barrage of text messages that I half ass read and deleted. My first question to understanding this situation was “Why after years of ignoring my warning, would she decide to ask ME about why what she does is a problem, instead of the ones who spoke of it in the last 3 days as opposed the my last 3 years? Why did she not start this interrogation/argument with the people who brought it to her attention Today. Moreover, when I give her the truth about it, she became belligerent…with ME. Sounds like a problem to me.
to be continued…
