A long dream

I woke up at 4:33pm today. So I must hurry before more of it fades.

Somewhere in a town unknown... I was at,my ex’s..lets call her Dee. I was at Dee’s mom’s house for a major family gathering. I don’t know how I got there or why. I was completely unwanted in the house. there was arguing, the daggering looks were enough to kill any mortal. Dee seemed to be absent. I can’t remember seeing her anywhere. I was essentially alone in a house full for hatred for me. No idea why I was there. Went out to smoke a cigarette on the porch..then 2...a large man came out of the house and told me I shouldn’t be there and Dee had a new girlfriend and I'm complicating things then he angrily walked back in the house and slammed the door. I tried to finish the last half of my cig then suddenly I heard the sirens...then saw the flashing lights. The porch started to flood with bodies baring no love...still no Dee in sight. I’m amongst a plethora of people who hate me because they know the story Dee told them and not the Truth. I quietly was escorted to the back of the squad car and taken directly to jail. I had some interesting conversations with the other inmates...crimes...non-crimes...those that belonged and those that did not. I’ve learned well how to handle being in jail so I just listened and rode it out because I had no idea what exactly I was charged with and didn’t remember even thinking about it. The tank door opened and I heard my name....which becomes VERY exciting after sitting in a room from of women who hadn’t had a chance to shower, brush their teeth or even eat for 2 days. After protocols were met I saw my mother. Relief.
She get me released and took me where I said to go. Before we could get down the stairs, we had another obstacle. My mom isn’t fearless like me, so when the packed stairwell cleared she was not ready to see the dead body being tended to on laying between the 3rd and 2nd floor. Never got the deets but this man had obviously crossed the wrong person. he didn’t fall and die like that in jail. When we made it to the 1st floor and it was exit time the cops were all pretty decent. I passed by a desk and saw calendars on display with Hot chicas so I asked if i could have one. the cop laughed and said sure, why not. hehehe. Sweet. I left jail with a consolation prize. Once there was room to move, I went back to Dee’s mom’s house and with anger I was told her girlfriend, a stud, picked her up and they left. Taken aback and amused I needed to see a lil more. She has no reason to hate me that bad, I’ve been through enough because of Dee, so I had nothing left to lose. I rode around for a while still reeling a bit from being arrested with no good reason...with my mother. But she was more like my accomplice at this point...didn't question much...she knew something was on my mind just, no clue what position I was about to take. Went back to Dee’s street and parked at the corner and decided to walk it at around midnight. I noticed a field of cotton or corn (high strips of plant) behind the houses on that street so I walked thru someone’s backyard and proceeded to walk. I saw a drum circle with a fire in the middle, would have stopped...but on a small mission. kept walking..and walking...nothing between the strips of plant. Then ahead I saw a bit further up a wide open portion of the field. When we got there, I stopped, got my weapon ready just in case. Casing the large open space, I walked in a lil deeper and that’s when I saw it. A red bag, a thick brown blanket with a head peeking out of the top. I looked a lil closer and there she was. I don’t know where my mom went...just a dream glitch. Curled up in a blanket lying in a field.... alone. I walked up on her and she said “What the fuck are u doing here..get the fuck out of my face.” No way someone I used to be in love with was gonna get rid of me that easy outside in a field. She continued to lay there as if she was alone and i wasn’t going to let it go that easy...she didn’t for me. But my intent was different than hers. It hurt me to see this..I mean she’s sleeping outside deep in a field so even if there was a new girlfriend, she VERY much not on her job. Dee and I fought like Rams and Lions but NEVER would I have left her out there like that. So the first thing I asked her was “Is this REALLY what u want?” She didn’t reply. I said “Dee we were better than this and could have grown into that couple with superpowers...you know this. I’m not trying to get u back because I heard about your latest girlfriend..and I hope she’s making you happy, It’s not ok with me that u made our relationship seem like a mistake. Her next words were “Leave me the fuck alone”. Didn’t bother me, I know my bay-bee. So I opened her bag, then I saw her eyes for the first time that night. I saw familiar thing and unfamiliar. Red shirt, boots, female necessities and I locked in on a hair conditioner (a Larger bottle than usual) I’d never seen. I was like oh shit...I always loved her natural hair. I popped it open and she heard it and her head popped up. I put a bit in my hand to rub in and apply and as I was rubbing my hands together, I saw her eyes again..More daggers. It was more like “BITCH, are you SERIOUSLY using my GOT DAMN conditioner. I don’t know whether to punch you in the face or choke you OUT in this field” look. Fear is no longer a factor between me and Dee, we are in a "’Do or Die’ ‘nothing to lose’ phase in our ‘afterlove’. I applied the conditioner to my fro and was like “sweet”. Whether she loved or hated me in her heart, I didn’t care at that point, I knew what was in my heart and I don’t allow that to be compromised. So I was prepared for her to slap the shit out of me, but at the same time I know how priorities change when you are reduced to sleeping with no roof. I took a deep breath and said, “Ba, we were better than this and what happened should NEVER have happened. I was hard on u because you wanted to be taught how to love and you know I was equipped. You let you need for power and you extreme pride make you take OUR home away from both of us. YES, I said OUR home...(Martin and Gina) ours ours ours Ouuuuurs. We made mistakes but there is NO reason we should just hate each other for life when we know this was both our fault. We killed the love with our pride. That’s not a substantial reason for hate. And never have I doubted your capacity to know that.” Then I laid next to her in the field and slept in peace...but a little curious.

My attempt to make MY part right was officially made. If I didn’t wake up from that slumber, I was at peace.

Then I woke up not knowing where I was...