I have a feeling that I wont get much done today. I have so much on my mind, I know i'm going to get home and get distracted by ANYTHING that will help me forget this horrible feeling of abandonment.
I dunno...
I miss Pap. But I can't tell her that.
I miss holding her.
I miss laying my lips on her neck in a hug.
I miss having her near me when I'm sleeping.
I felt protected.
I miss her determination.
I miss seeing her smile big...
She'd cover her mouth because she hated it.
It made my day.
Until other women...were the ones...
Making her smile wide.
I just made her smile.
I'm not good at these things
Competition was not fair to me.
I never made her compete.
Why would she do this to me?
She made it a point to hate me before she let me go. I wasn't "friend" material. She prefers all the fraudulent friends who abandoned her when she started to date me. She chose.... them.... over me. I don't know how long it's going to take for me to get over that, but It doesnt matter. I'm DEAD to everyone and I plan to stay that way.
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