Stuck...

Lesson learned....

make sure i let people KNOW when i'm pushing them away, so they wont lie and say...they got STUCK in Houston. Never again. NEVER again.

these strays come with their sob stories and i care and take them in, but because they wanted to have cake and eat it too, they cried love. But wrote to others..."im stuck...in Houston".....

im not a hostage taker.

so why do people blame me, when IM ALL THEY GOT!...and im actually there.

im travelling down a really bad road here cuz im thinking of the one that broke me. And how she got scared of tha love and reopened an option. I wish i had been gentle...when she apologized, i might still have true love in my life. I lost the best thing that ever happened to me the exact same way.

i dont like when history repeats itself. First time was my fault, this time its not, but it still resurfaces the emotions of the one unsolved mystery of my life...what if...

in the end, i lost her forever and that was only a few months ago. The next one...i never actually had, i was a "roof-provider" that worked all day and slept all night, which meant free range to do and call and fukk and eat whateva and whoeva she wanted...and she did. She hasnt spoken a word of truth to me and has a REAL bad history so its no real loss to me. I just wish 2 years ago i could see what would become of me. I didnt knw ppl would STICK THEMSELVES to me just for tha long ride thats FREE.

just makes me wonder...again...has ANYBODY ever genuinely loved me.

im so sad i could scream!
But im at work and as usual...they are watching me.

one thing i know for sure
there will NEVER be another telling people thy are "STUCK", cuz my welcome mat says "DONT GET TOO COMFORTABLE".
Never will that lie be told on me again... Im like Martin, "i throw people OUUUUUUTT", and i officially am not taking anymore in. Got myself fukked over both times....never again.